"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.' "
Conan O'Brien
"Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language"
Conan O'Brien :
"
Apparently the new high-tech Star Wars toys will be in stores any day now. The toys can talk and are interactive, so they can be easily distinguished from Star Wars fans."
Conan O'Brien
"
CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.' "
Conan O'Brien
During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may end up running together. In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.
Conan O'Brien:
"Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me."
Conan O'Brien
"Early on, they were timing my contract with an egg timer."
Conan O'Brien
"
Fish recognize a bad leader. "
Conan O'Brien
"If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice. "
Conan O'Brien
"
In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have"
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