Bad things..

The arrest of an American man who broke into a woman's house and tried to suck her blood over the weekend has sparked discussion about the impact of vampire books and movies on youth culture.
Whether pop culture played a role in the attack remains to be seen, as 19-year-old Lyle Monroe Bensley awaits a psychiatric evaluation in jail on burglary charges in Galveston, Texas.
Found growling and hissing in a parking lot and wearing only boxer shorts, the pierced and tattooed Bensley claimed he was a 500-year-old vampire who needed to "feed," Galveston Police Capt. Jeff Heyse said.
- Via
*sigh* only in america..

Thats that shit..

Apparently some asian scientist has found a new way to recycle shit, as burgers..go figure. Somehow i find this to be a hoax.

Eddie Griffin on Lebron James..

2
Eddie griffin making fun of LeBron James..courtesy of VladTV

Jon stewart on fox news & Common controversy

The Daily Show - Tone Def Poetry Jam
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Friday..

Its like when you shave your genitalia, then start to wonder why you are walking like obama for the rest of the week, because of in-grown pubes..for those who've gone through this, you can relate and for those who havent...go figure!! The point here is stick to what you are good at Mr. steve colbert..but i gotta admit it was kinda funny..

steven colbert and jimmy fallon featuring taylor hicks and the roots perform "friday" a youtube viral song..

Airplanes..

[on the airport announcements]
"About this time, someone is telling you to get on the plane. "Get on the plane. Get on the plane." I say, "fuck you, I'm getting IN the plane! IN the plane! Let Evil Knievel get ON the plane! I'll be in here with you folks in uniform! There seems to be less WIND in here!"-George Carlin (taken from Jammin in NY)


B.o.b ft Eminem & Hayley Williams of Paramore - Airplanes

microphine..

"Five Temptations...one mic. Whatever they did, they came back to the mike! Stank-ass rappers make me sick! Now, ev'rybody on the goddamned stage got a mike! Forty motherfucking people! Motherfucker, why? We can't understand what ONE of yo' asses is sayin'!" - Steve Harvey


Slaughterhouse - Microphone

Horse & Carriage..

"When from behind me, a woman of 25 uttered the dumbest thing I'd ever heard in my life ... She said, 'If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.'
I'll repeat that. I'll repeat that because that's the kind of sentence that when you hear it, your brain comes to a screeching halt. And the left hand side of the brain looks at the right hand side and goes, 'It's dark in here, and we may die.' She said, 'If it weren't for my horse...' as in, giddy up, giddy up, let's go - 'I wouldn't have spent that year in college,' a degree-granting institution.

Don't! Don't think about that sentence for more than three minutes, or blood'll shoot out your nose. The American medical profession doesn't know why we get an aneurysm. It's when a blood vessel bursts in our head for no apparent reason. There's a reason.

You're at the mall one day, and somebody over there says the dumbest thing you've ever heard and it goes in your ear. So you turn around to see if your friends heard it, cause if your friends heard it, and you can talk about what the jackass said, then it'll be gone. But your friends are over here, pretending they're gonna buy a cellular phone, and they're not gonna buy a cellular phone, because they don't even understand how the rate structure works. So you turn back, to find the person who said it, because if you can ask 'em a question like, 'WHAT THE @*#! ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?!' then it'll go away. But they're gone.
And now those words are in your head. And those words don't go away. Cause the way I see it, 7% of our brains functions all the time, because 99% of everything that happens is the same old stuff. We get it. All right. Move on. Get it. Right.

But every so often, somethin' like that happens: 'If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.' So your brain goes, 'LET'S FIGURE IT OUT! Son of a bitch! I wonder what that's about!' I wonder, was she riding the horse to school? No, she wouldn't be riding the horse to school. Maybe it was a polo pony; she had a polo pony scholarship. Maybe she sold the horse and that's how she - she was betting on the horse! WHAT THE @*#! ?!! And then you realize that anybody who went to college would never say anything that stupid in public. And as soon as you have that thought, your eyes close and the next morning they find you dead in your bathroom."

Curb your your enthusiasm..

What can i say, this dude gets away with murder everytime this show's on..mocumentary style. Larry david continues to annoy all those around him without knowing it, he's always got good intantions and means well, but all hell always breaks loose.. i haven't laughed this much since bush was dodging shoes from that heckler..
Here's a couple of quotes from the show, courtesy of IMDB.com

[Cheryl is reading a draft of her renewed wedding vows to Larry]
Cheryl: "We'll love each other throughout this lifetime, but after death through all eternity."
Larry: You mean this is... this is continuing into the afterlife?
Cheryl: Yeah, that's the idea. Do you have a problem with that?
Larry: Well, I... I thought this was over at death. I didn't know we went into eternity together. Isn't that what it said in... ”'til death do us part, " I thought it was...
Cheryl: Do you have a problem with eternity?
Larry: Well...
Cheryl: We finally found each other, Larry, and we're celebrating this for all eternity.
Larry: I guess I had a different plan for eternity. I thought... I thought I'd be single again.
---------------------
Jeff Greene: All of the women at HBO, they don't want to work with you.
Larry David: Oh, come on. That's ridiculous.
Jeff Greene: They think you're a misogynist.
Larry David: Why, 'cause I called the guy a cunt? So what!
Jeff Greene: 'Cause you called the guy a cunt.
Larry David: Big deal, I call men pricks all the time, men want to work with me.
Jeff Greene: Well, cunt's worse.
Larry David: Cunt's not worse. Pricks and cunts, they're equal. Pricks, cunts, come on. They balance out.
Jeff Greene: No, cunt is worse. Cunt's much heavier.
Larry David: Why? Why is cunt heavier?
Jeff Greene: I never questioned, it just is.
Larry David: That's sexist to me! Come on.

If today was your last day..

If today was your last day by ~LunaticThund3r on deviantART
We often seem to take life for granted, and go on worrying
about worthless issues instead of thinking of the more important
things that matter the most.And its only when we have a "near death" experience
or survive a heart attack or stroke that we start to appreceiate life more.

What if some doctor came and told you that you only had a day to live?
What would you do? Here's a few suggestions you might want to consider..

Seeing that you are dying anyway, you might wanna take a couple of
- shots of jaegermeister, to keep you from losing it before your time
- Withdraw every penny from your accounts and go to a strip club or donate it to charity, which is the same thing..what ever works for you.
- Have sex with your girlfriend with some role-playing involved, remember this is
your last day, so you have to make it count, rather die with dignity, than to be
known as the dude who prematurely ejaculated before he died..use viagra if you have to
- Have a last cigarette, unless you goin to hell..there aint no cigarettes in heaven!!
- Re-visit your will, delete those incosiderate relatives from it if you will(no pun intended)
- have some pizza, who wouldnt?
- ask to be buried with an oxygen mask, just in case!!
With that said, good luck..and if that doctor turns out to be a phony,
then consider yourself F***ED!!!


Nickelback - If today was your last day

Wild Wild Horses..

Wild Horses by `kuschelirmel on deviantART
Contrary to what you might have heard, being a playa is not eazy ( wait let me finish). Sure it's eazy to chat up a girl, but you will find that 99.5 percent of people mostly succesful with this are "responsibly" drunk dudes at the club. The other 0.5 percent who claim to be players are those who dont drink, cant find girlfriends, retarded or just mere masturbators..true story!!
But lets get back to the real story here..ah yes why is being a playa not eazy? because unless you are donald trump, it's expensive!! you gonna have to buy that girl drinks, or at least wait until those other idiots(who think have a chance with her) buy her drinks and when it's closing time hope to sneak her out and get some.
I mean, where else would you pick up girls who are playas themselves, and if a girl approaches you, that doesnt count..
Then there's those bad girl hunting cold nights when you leave the club alone with losses, diminished funds and a shattered ego..then you have to go home and sleep in the fetal position looking like tiger woods in that muhf***
so don't lie, i know every dude out there feels like cuddlin' on sundays..!!! In the end what you find out is that all these dudes who claim to be in serious relationship are just tired ass old-school players that got tired of chasing wild wild horses and sleeping in that fetal position..


Atmosphere - Wild wild horses

Ironic..

Brand Irony 1 - Just Do It by *sharadhaksar on deviantART
Imagine what life would be like if there was no ignorance. Everybody would probably be talking that crap about saving the environment or recycling bubble gum and what have you..anyway i just couldnt help but post this, because first it was all good, but then it all shattered when i read some fun facts..kinda like what happened in HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER when Ted finds what he thinks is the perfect woman,but his friends all find a flaw that once noticed cannot go unnoticed.

In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles etc.)

Daily you will breathe in 1 litre of other peoples' anal gases

An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.

Annually, you will shake hands with 11 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.



Alanis Morrissette - Ironic

if you dont believe me..fine GOOGLE it..

Loco..

El Cientifico Loco by =mictlantectli on deviantART
It's been a weird week in namibia this week.

First: Castration to all rapists
--------------------------------
It's been suggested by parliamentarians that all rapists should be castrated.
They went on to say that those who get castrated get minimum sentences and those who dont get higher sentences. While im not one to support rapists, im somehow skeptical as to whether this idea could actually work, when you look at it from the perspective of those accused who are later found to have been innocent all along. I say this because it's a dangerous world we live in and, being accused of rape is something which happens on a continual basis (im sure guys who go to clubs will understand this). You might have consensual sex with someone who only reveals their actual motives after the deed. And when you refuse, they throw that "rape" card on the table. Who do you think the lawmakers are gonna believe? i aint rocket science.

Second: Haniball lector gets lose
--------------------------------
Some lunatic goes berserk in the north of the country, smashing a brik into the head of a security guard then going on a rampage shooting everybody in sight at a hospital. I dont blame him, i mean if a dude is insane you have to strap him on tha gurney, who hasnt watched the hanibal movies for cryin out loud!!

Third: Municipal bills up!!
--------------------------------
The final straw, minicipality has decided to raise municipal bills by a sky rocketing 10-15 % rate. Just when the little country that looks like one of those german pistols is going through it's little recession now this, and they still have the audacity to spend millions on entertainment, what a couple of douchebags!! thats what's happening in my neck of the woods..


Fun lovin criminals - Loco

Temptations..

Temptation by ~kniso on deviantART
I personally aint the person to pretend to like something when i don't. I i dont like something i'll say i dont like it. I'm not gonna put up with something i do not like just to impress others. I know i sound like im talking out of my ass, but what im actually talking about is people who get married and stay together for 30 years plus and have the nerve to divorce after that. What gives? it does not make sense. i mean,you put up with a person for thirty years and all of a sudden you cant stand the person? come on!!where's the point in that.. of course you can cheat here and there and im not saying that you should but these things "happen", but a divorce? please!!
You got five kids and all this other shit, and wait for it...without a prenup. You mean to tell me you wanna lose all that. Besides you'll most likely be dying in a few years time from some weird middle-aged-person desease (Cancer,Diabetes,Alzheimers etc) why not just wait for that instead..

2pac Stencil by ~DaSigner on deviantART

2pac - Temptations

the seven deadly sins..

im just saying, just look at it this way...
1."pride" sometimes you are proud of what you achieved ...
2."gluttony"when you are very hungry..u buy two pies and think you are gonna finish them but you only finish one and a half...
3."Sloth"you want to do laundry on sunday but you are lazy to do it because of the hangover ...
4."wrath" refuse to give a lift to that dude who used to bully you in high-school ... Read More
5."Lust" we are men..having erections evertime you see that model type babe at your local hangout spot..
6."Greed" being stingy and saving that money for when you need it
7."Envy" everybody envies bill gates..come on now..


Flogging Molly - Seven Deadly sins

Dow Jones..

"Dow Jones" starring Common from Common

Yolanda's house..

Story telling has never been this fun, since the slick rick days. Ghost face always knows how to bring the story to life with his vivid imagination. Once i listened to this song i was laughing all the way through to the end and method man just adds to that laughter when he comes in with the second verse. And Raekwon finishes off with a decent third verse..the song's like a Friday-type-comedy-movie..only decent and well documented in just about three minutes one of my favorite songs off of "Big Doe rehab" by Ghostface Killah..

Starring: Ghostface
Method man
Raekwon

Synopsys:
The story starts from a narrative in the present as he continues to tell a story about how he escaped a drug bust from the police. It later turns out that he is actually telling the story to the girl “Yolanda” as he’s currently at yolanda’s house. And with this story she got so excited that that one thing led to another. And ghostface is about to have sex with her asking where the condoms are and, that’s when he heard the cops coming and ran upstairs he hid behind the wall before opening a door to a room upstairs only to find Method Man having raw sex jumping in panic with genitals hanging out, while ghostface jumped in the closet, laughing at method man with method frowning on ghost to be quiet. Then method man continues to condemn ghostface’s actions telling him he was supposed to knock before getting in saying that his girl’s got asma and that’s when method man gets cut off by his telephone ringing and it’s raekwon on the other end……
enough spoilers listen to the song…


Ghostface ft. Method Man & Raekwon – Yolanda’s house

Movies..

I totally overlooked this movie..just based on the fact that it's a sequel, i was a bit skeptical..it's like Picasso trying to redo the Da vinchi's monalisa..well you get the picture..
But all in all i enjoyed the dialogue it was just damn funny..when it comes to dialogue it's always either Kevin smith, or Tarantino(my favorite writer/directors) who always find a way to put pop culture into their movies and make it funny and spontaneous at the same time...here are a couple of quotes from the film..

-----------
Elias: [mumbling] "One Ring to rule them all."

Hobbit Lover: "One Ring to find them."

Randal Graves: Oh, Jesus.

Elias: [pulls a Ring necklace out of his shirt] "One Ring to bring them all."

Hobbit Lover: [pulls a Ring out of his pocket, in a dramatic voice] "And in the darkness, bind them!"

Elias: How many times?

Hobbit Lover: Well, um, three for "Fellowship," two for "Towers," four for "Return."

Elias: Five for "Return"!

Hobbit Lover: Dude!

Randal Graves: That look was so gay. I thought Sam was gonna tell the little hobbits to take a walk so he could saunter over to Frodo and suck his fucking cock. Now *that* would have been an Academy Award worthy ending.

Hobbit Lover: Hey faggot, they're not gay! They're hobbits!

Randal Graves: And then, right after the Sam/Frodo suckfest, right before the credits roll, Sam fucking flat out bricks in Frodo's mouth.

Randal Graves: All right, look, there's only one "Return," okay, and it ain't "of the King," it's "of the Jedi."

Hobbit Lover: Oh, Star Wars geek.

Randal Graves: Oh, I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.

Elias: You'll have to excuse him, he's not "down" with the trilogy.

Randal Graves: Oh, what the fuck happened to this world? There's only one trilogy, you fucking morons.

Hobbit Lover: You know what, maybe we should start calling your friend Padme, because he loves Manakin Skywalker so much, right?
[in robot voice]

Hobbit Lover: Danger danger, my name is Anakin. My shitty acting is ruining saga.
Elias: [chucking] Yea-Yeah, you're crazy, Jar-Jar.

Randal Graves: Oh, I'm crazy? Those fuckin' hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was, was a bunch of people walking, three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano.


Alien ant farm - Movies

weather..

"The weather in this country is completely out of control and nobody seems to care about it. I knew we were in trouble 12 years ago when I was in Boston, MA and in 4 days in February, I experienced 5 seasons. It was 30, it was 60, it was 90 and it was 12. And on the last day, there was thunder, lightning and snow together. And I had not done drugs.

Cause when you're lying in bed, you hear thunder outside, and you get up to look, you have an expectation. And it's not snow with lightning behind it. That's not right.

They don't even write about that kind of weather in the bible. And I imagine if a prophet had seen that kind of weather, after he wiped the poop out of his pants, he'd have told us about it. I was supposed to work that night, I said I'm not coming in. I'm scared to death, cause I know what the next season's going to be....locusts.

And there will come a time mark my words where there will be a season of great big giant frogs that fall from the sky. You'll be watching Willard Scott on the Today show. What a scary fellow he is. He smiles so much I don't think he has a central nervous system. And he'll be standing in front of the Washington Monument dressed like a Chipmunk and frogs will be bouncing off his head. And he'll be going 'giant frogs, giant frogs, what can I say, back to you.'"

Sexual Seduction...

"Sexual harassment is a problem. This lady tried to have me fired for giving her 'inappropriate massages' in the workplace. I said, 'Good luck with that, lady! I don't even work here.'" - Anthony Jeselnik
Being horny is such a funny thing, and one thing I've realized is that virgins don't actually get horny, but once they get some of that hot, sizzling, scorching, torching, blazing blazee! blazee! they'll be horny every time you switch on the discovery channel (i know, sick right?)
But for dudes in general, man we need it bad (the sex, it comes with the territory)..if a dude is willing to have a sexual encounter with his assistant, risking to lose it all in a divorce from his wife is not convincing, i don't know what is(and this has become somewhat a cliche' at every other company everywhere).
Doing it in the office is every dude's fantasy(aside from doing her in the kitchen of course),It's in our heads, and that whole forbidden-fruit thing to it is just something a sane man can have on the mind most of the time,but that's as far as it goes..(if you are civilized), because it's a dangerous game, and we've all seen the damage over and over, be it in movies, books, or tabloids that sh*t is deadly man..You start to think of the consequences if you make sexual advances to a co-worker(Disciplinary hearing,losing your job, and worst of all looking like a fool). personally i don't have a problem with the former two, but the latter (looking like a fool) is something i can not life with.
But you still have your high number of idiots who still bed their assistants and go so far as to use "I'm working late" sh*t to their significant others. Next thing you know he/she's extorting the sh*t of you, talking about "I'm gonna file sexual harassment against you" if you don't agree to the demands.
When you look at it in reality, people will always want things they cant have, and as soon as they got it..Boom! another mission-impossible "want" pops up. What i'm talking about is that if you dig that chick at the office, then damn man to hell with it, just keep in mind that the other chick from the club the other night was way more hotter than that and you don't wanna see yourself stoop that low and bam!!! you'll be whistling dixie next time she bends down deliberately to pick up a pencil in the hopes of you having a slight interest in her Derrière...


Snoop dogg - Sexual Seduction